Knife

This morning, at 8:22AM, I caught myself stooping next to the microwave at the kitchen counter, shoveling a Carvel ice cream cake into my mouth, straight from the box:

Yes, I know that looks incredibly delicious, and you are thinking: "Ning.  You freaking lucky bitch.  Way to gloat."  Why, thank you.  Thank you very much.

But why with a giant spoon? Why all the spooning? Why straight from the box?

Tons of excellent reasons.

1. I am a glutton*. (Always go with the obvious answer first.)

2. I am lazy.  All that cutting and transferring from box to bowl take a lot of effort.  Not to mention the inevitable need to wash that bowl later.

3. I am impatient.  Above-mentioned cutting and transferring take time, man.

4. We only have one big knife in the house.  The same one that sliced off a good chunk of my left little finger this past Saturday.  I still don't want to go near it.

*To be fair, I was killing time while waiting for my dumplings to boil for breakfast.  It wasn't like I went into the kitchen just to eat ice cream cake.

Ahh.  What a hypocrite, huh?  All these past months, I had been going around town telling my dear friend to "Just get over it!"  Just because something had hurt you in the past, there is no statistical proof that the same thing will hurt you in the same way again.  Lightening doesn't strike twice in the same spot unless you are really just incredibly cursed, right?

Only when I was furiously scraping the leftover icing from the box with my spoon, and all my dumplings had been devastatingly overcooked into complete mush because I refused to put the spoon down to go turn off the fire, did I think about this: It is simply human nature to be afraid of things that have hurt you before.  Whether it makes any statistical sense or not.  Something about...biological preservation.

So what I am trying to say is, it turns out that I do know that feeling.  Or, at least, my little finger and my subconscious know that feeling.   My head knows that I don't have to cut off a finger chunk every time I slice up a tomato, and in fact I have sliced many a tomato in my life without my little finger ever suffering, but my little finger is still afraid.  So...what can I say?  I still think you are an idiot, but it turns out I am an idiot too.  Yay.