Fail-Proof

The reason I haven't written in a while is because I have been busy making a decision. Notice: I didn't say "trying to make a decision." The decision has been made, on my part at least. The cosmos can feel free to chew it up and spit it back out, but I will have nothing to do with that.

During this 3-week-long process, I realized that this is the first time in my life that I have ever had to make a real choice. As in, if I don't put some real effort into this decision, here and now, I may end up losing something very important. It seems incredulous and almost preposterous to say that this has never happened to me before, but somehow, luckily might I add, throughout the past 26 years the path has always been clear and certain. Most of the time, anybody who had any sense told me repeatedly that it was the wrong path, and most of those times and most of those people were right. But all I had to do then was take the next obvious step, and even though that was probably the wrong step too, I had the absolute deluded conviction that I was right. And now, I know what it's like to encounter a swiggle: it sucks.

I had no choice but to resort to my time-tested, fail-proof method of finding any answer: sit on my ass and wait for epiphany. It worked, yet again. Thank god. (Although, god, you sure took your sweet time so next time please catch up to the modern work ethic, chug some Red Bull and get on with it.) Now I am going to watch a movie and take a nap.